


Empty Heart

by YoohyeonApple



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-09-25 06:47:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20372437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YoohyeonApple/pseuds/YoohyeonApple
Summary: Love is gone. Death took over. The only way is to live through the unbearable grief. Or is it?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I’m back with a new story. I hope you’ll enjoy it. It took me a while to get on track with it. Also thanks to the huge help of some people that helped me turn this into something better. 
> 
> I’ll add tags in due time, I can’t spoil you too much ;).

That day wasn’t rainy, windy or cloudy. It was a normal day, with a few clouds here and there, with the sun peeking out. It wasn’t extremely cold either. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just a normal winter's day. Yet, for Yoohyeon, it was one of the worst days for her. Her whole world was officially shattered.

There she was, standing in front of an open grave with a casket being lowered into the ground. Her hand was clutching the flowers she was supposed to throw. Yellow lilies. _Her _favourite. Yoohyeon didn’t even pick them. None of this was her doing, all she did was show up at the cemetery. But, all she wished was to still be at home, in her bed, with _her_ scent embracing her instead of being surrounded by too many people dressed in black, sniffing and glancing at her with pity.

The man conducting the whole burial announced it was time to go one by one. Yoohyeon felt a hand on her shoulder but barely acknowledged whoever it was. Grasping the flowers with both hands, to stop them from shaking, she stepped closer to the grave. For a second she really hesitated, but that wouldn’t change anything whether she threw them or not. So, in a painful way, Yoohyeon released the lilies, letting them scatter all over the casket. An actual representation of her heart. Broken into a thousand pieces.

Yoohyeon didn’t leave in a crying mess. No, she stayed and endured the condolences given to her from family, friends, colleagues and anyone that came here to say their goodbye's one last time. Once the last person passed by, she let out a sigh of relief letting herself being led out of the cemetery by a hand on her arm.

In the car, Yoohyeon looked out the window while they were being driven through the city. All she could see was reminders that made her heart ache. How would she live from now on? That question had been lingering for days now, never getting close to a definite answer.

“We’re here.”

The voice caught Yoohyeon's attention so she looked away from the window to the girl sitting next to her. The girl held out her hand with a compassionate smile. The pain was visible on her face too. Not hesitating, Yoohyeon placed her hand in hers and squeezed it in a supportive manner.

“We go in. We eat. Talk for a bit. And then we can leave, okay?”

Yoohyeon nodded, though totally unsure it she could go on for a few more hours without breaking down.

Not even being an hour later, Yoohyeon was feeling a wave of emotions coming up. Her time was up. Scanning the living room, she tried to look her friend, but she was nowhere to be seen. Grabbing her bag, which she left earlier on the couch, Yoohyeon didn’t waste time saying goodbye and in an instant she was out of the house, walking away as fast as possible. She was cursing herself for not having her car, but then she had been in no state to drive. It would take her a while to get back home, but maybe the journey would keep her mind busy enough until she was locked in the comfort of her own home.

Sitting in the bus, Yoohyeon opened her bag looking for her phone. It was routine to check her phone for the time, however she always forgot what her lock screen was. As soon as she realised what it was, on her seat, she was frozen, staring at it until the screen turned black and all she could see was her reflection. From being a happy couple, to now her lonely self. The moment didn’t last as her phone lit up again from an incoming call.

“Yeah?” She answered.

“Where are you? I looked for you everywhere.” The girl’s voice was worried.

“On my way back home. I’m in the bus.” Yoohyeon’s tone was flat, trying hard to control the trembling of her upcoming tears.

“Do you want me to stay with you tonight?” She was so genuine, and Yoohyeon wished she could say yes. “I can be here in an hour.”

“You should stay at your parents’ house. You need each other.”

“You’re our family too, you could have stayed in the guest room.” She didn’t deserve her kindness. And she had to hold back to not spit out that as of today, there was nothing linking them anymore to be called a ‘family’ anymore. “Alright.” She said after Yoohyeon’s silence. “Call me if you need anything, okay? Any time of the day or night.”

“I will.” Yoohyeon answered, both knowing she wouldn’t do so. She hung up, tossing her phone back in her bag.

Yoohyeon loved them. All these years of happiness and laughter spent by their side. And now she was the reason they had to bury their daughter and sister. There was no way they wouldn’t start to resent her at some point. It was for the best to leave them be and not linger around as a memory of what she destroyed. It was already hard enough for her to live with herself lately, imposing it on them would be disrespectful.

Twenty minutes later, Yoohyeon was playing with her keys walking up the stairs to their apartment. She shook her head. It was only hers now. Unlocking the front door she stepped in and the wave of emotions that had been waiting for almost an hour hit her full force. The fight in her was over; she surrendered. Slamming the door shut, Yoohyeon let herself drop down on the floor, wailing due to the unbearable pain overwhelming her.

She was home. She was surrounded by her safe haven, but also her worst nightmare. Her scent was still lingering, slowly fading as the days went by. Yoohyeon threw her keys in the corridor, in a fit of rage.

Never again would Yoohyeon come home to _her _frustrating screams over an essay she was working on at the last minute. Never again would Yoohyeon see _her_ lost in her thoughts on their balcony, then smile the second she would see her. Never again would Yoohyeon feel her fingers going up and down her back after making love.

Never again would Yoohyeon see the woman she loved.


	2. Picture of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random memories hitting where it hurts.

_February 27th, 2019_ ****

Breathing heavily, Yoohyeon woke up with a sudden jolt. Her hand immediately reaching for the right side of the bed only to find it was empty. Her head slumped down on her pillow, laying on her side facing the emptiness beside her. Her tears started to roll down, her sorrow coming out. The nightmare she woke up from was her reality. Once again, Yoohyeon was unable to save her.****

“I’m sorry.” Yoohyeon whispered, with a lump in her throat. “I’m so sorry.”****

Her hand slammed hard against the mattress before she turned her face onto her pillow. It was unbearable to hear her own sobs, she wanted it to stop. Yet, no matter how much she pressed against it, her breathing was still happening, her tears were still falling. Then came the screams. Each time they were louder and louder. ****

Yoohyeon was mentally and physically fighting herself. ****

Everything that happened the day before was coming back to hit her hard. She fell asleep so numb, practically passing out on the cold, hard floor. ****

“I can’t do it.” She choked out when her body needed to properly breathe. Turning on her back, Yoohyeon blankly stared at the ceiling, the only safe spot in their bedroom. ****

Her break was short lived; her phone started to ring. Picking it up from her nightstand, Yoohyeon groaned upon seeing who was calling her, and even more when seeing the big smile from the picture she chose for her.****

Drying her tears with the back of her hand, Yoohyeon got out of bed, automatically walking to the kitchen, her eyes looking down at her bare feet. First cupboard to the left, she took a bowl and some cereal. Drawer on the right, she took a spoon. Then sliding to the fridge, she picked up some milk, closing the fridge a bit too strongly that a magnet with a picture fell down. Instinctively, Yoohyeon got down to pick it up. Their last summer holiday together. Right there, they looked so lively and happy within their bubble. Yoohyeon had her in her arms, keeping her close while she was taking a selfie. ****

_“I’m not stepping any closer to the sea.” Yoohyeon stopped dead in her tracks at the beginning of the shore._ ****

_“It’s not going to eat you alive.” Her lovely girlfriend said. “And you’re holding my hand.” To make it a point she lifted up their entwined fingers between them._ ****

_“The sea moves. It goes up and down.”_ ****

_“We’ll stop right before. Come with me, please.” She whined to Yoohyeon, who hesitated for a second looking into her eyes. As long as she didn’t touch the water, she would be good. With some reluctance, Yoohyeon let herself being led down the beach._ ****

_Watching the water, they stopped right at the edge of the wet sand._ ****

_“Isn’t it pretty? Turquoise sea, white beach and the sound of the waves.” Yoohyeon was tugged down to her pretty round face, and her big eyes sparkling of joy. Tilting down, their lips met for a chaste kiss, that brought them a smile. Yoohyeon then stayed there, her head on her shoulder, appreciating this peaceful moment. “Memory time.”_ ****

_Yoohyeon barely moved, and circled on her feet to have her back to the sea. Her girlfriend lifted up her phone, while Yoohyeon embraced her in her arms. Looking up at the screen, they smiled and in a second that moment was engraved. Until Yoohyeon screeched out, scaring the girl in her arms, only because the water rose up higher and touched her feet._ ****

_She ran as far away as possible under the laughter of the girl she loved. _

_“It’s not funny!”_ ****

_“Yes, it is, honey.” _ ****

_Yoohyeon watched her laugh and stroll down to the sea. She oozed of happiness. Something as simple as going to the beach was enough to have her delighted. Splashing water around her so much it wet her shorts and white tank top. Her golden hair was flying all over her face. In that moment, Yoohyeon knew that girl was really the only one._ ****

Her phone rang again, breaking her painful road down memory lane. Yoohyeon didn’t even have to go look to know who was calling again. She turned over the magnet with the picture as to not see it anymore, only to be met by the sight of graceful handwriting. ****

_My sunshine and I, Bali, 2018_ ****

Never again would Yoohyeon see her leave random notes or even make a grocery list.****

Holding back the torment as much as she could, she put back the photograph on the fridge, held by a minion magnet.****

As mindlessly as possible, she tried to eat her very late breakfast, only because she had to. But there was this thought bugging her, about how her girlfriend looked back then. Full of life. Only to end up dead six months later. What did they do to fate, to deserve this? Death just crawled into their life so sneakily that Yoohyeon barely saw it coming. If only she had paid more attention, or been more pushy.****

If only.****

The twinkling of keys at her front door got Yoohyeon’s attention. Leaning on her left to get a sight of the corridor, she wasn’t even surprised by who was coming in. Suddenly, her cereal became more interesting.****

“Do you ever answer the phone?” Yoohyeon barely looked up to see her friend taking a seat at her kitchen table. “I was worried.”****

“I’m fine.” Yoohyeon retorted, standing up with her bowl, placing it in the almost-full sink. Leaning against it, she stayed with her back to her. ****

“How- How are you holding up?” Her friend, tentatively, asked her. The only answer she got was Yoohyeon’s scoff. “I know. Stupid question.”****

“I’m sorry, for not picking up. I wasn’t really in the mood to talk.” Yoohyeon spoke up, turning around to take a good look at her friend. Her usual shiny, long, brown hair was tugged into a low ponytail, her bangs swept to the side. Dark circles were visible, easy to see that she probably didn’t get enough sleep. The more she stared, the more Yoohyeon was relieved she barely had any resemblance to her sister. “Do you want anything to eat or drink?”****

“I’m good, thank you.”

They shyly smiled at each other. “She’s everywhere.”****

Yoohyeon nodded.****

“I found my mum in the middle of the night crying over baby pictures, calling her name over and over again. I had to leave the house when she finally fell asleep earlier. But- but here…” She stopped looking over the open kitchen to the living room. All she saw was her little sister’s presence. “I’m sorry.” She apologised, her gaze meeting Yoohyeon’s.****

“I understand.” Yoohyeon tapped the fridge next to the picture that brought back some souvenirs. “I’ll try to go see your parents.” She continued, hesitantly. ****

“They would really appreciate that.” Silence filled the kitchen. “We have to support each other.” ****

Yoohyeon didn’t know how to feel about her words. The idea of someone trying to bare the weight on her shoulders bothered her a lot. But she could, at least in her appearance, try to make an effort. Crossing the room, she stood next to her friend opening up her arms. A second later they were in the middle of the room hugging each other, sharing their grief.****

A part of their hearts had gone and it would never heal, but they had to at least try. Try to keep on living with this hole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, once again.   
The pain is still here, how are you dealing with it?

**Author's Note:**

> How was it?  
Feel free to share your thoughts with me, I’ll appreciate each of them ;).  
See you soon!


End file.
